And she would say something like 'Well, one day I drank a bottle of bleach thinking it was cheap Italian wine.'

Here's what I would ask, 'So, why is your hair purple?'

Isn't it about time to change the subject, Mikey?

For what?  

It's about time.  Get the lead out of your ass, Waitress.

When we last left our dynamic duo, they were in the middle of a desperate situation.

Ah yes, these two.

Now, where were we?

So the duck asks, 'Do you have any crackers?'

The bartender says, 'No.'